Monday Musings - At a Crossroads10:48
I'm having a hard time at the moment trying to decide what I want to do. I'm at a crossroads in life in general going from university into the 'real world' by that I mean into a job. As I mentioned before I want to become a teaching assistant and I feel like I'm making real progress. I've got a lunchtime supervisor job that starts in September which means I'm going to get experience working with children. Which is great as I've only been out of university since the end of May and its something that I want to do.
Now I know the little amount of hours means not much money but I thought it was really good. I barely got a chance to truly enjoy it before I was made to wonder, am I being selfish?
Should I do a full-time job that I don't want to do just for the money or do I continue to do a job that I want to do and that means for a while longer it'll be a little tight with money. I've always been told to follow my dreams but I'm also very logical. I'm very lucky that my boyfriend Ian is so supportive and wants me to achieve my dream.
It's just a few people believe I should do whatever and get all the money possible and then eventually get to where I want to. It's just what I want to do wouldn't work. Which means I'd have to give up my dream. I find myself wondering what I should do and what's the right choice.
Now I know I shouldn't let anyone tell me what to do and I'm not. It's just that it has made me think about my choices. It's also made me wonder whether I'm being fair. I know that if I did a job doing whatever just for money that I'd get used to it and then I'd just settle but I wouldn't be happy. I think it would then make me a littl resentful.
It's not like I'm doing the job because I think great it's a job and I hardly have to do any hours. I would love more hours but unfortunately the job only has a few hours a week. It also doesn't mean I'm not going to work hard because I will as I hope to work towards being a teaching assistant. Which means this time next year I will hopefully be in a full time teaching assistant position. Which is more hours and more money.
I think as long as I know what I'm doing is right for me and that, the people that matter support me I shouldn't worry to much. If I listened to everyone elses opinion I would never do what I wanted as everyone has different opinions. I'm still learning not to listen to everyone and I think it's something that I will always be learning g throughout my life.