The last few weeks have been a bit strange and I guess it doesn't help that for me in the last 6 months I have been a bit up and down.
I guess it all goes back to when I graduated. I left university having fallen out of love with photography, which wasn't really ideal.
I decided a break from photography was needed, however this left me more confused. What was I supposed to do from here.
I decided maybe I needed to give something back and I started to volunteer in a primary school. This soon lead to a job. I loved this job and it gave me such satisfaction as I felt I was making a small difference. I decided this might be the career for and that maybe I should look into teaching. as the job was only contracted to July of last year.
I looked into teaching and the thought of teaching Art and Photography really excited me. I did a late application and soon was invited for an interview. I was so excited and just wanted to get started. I felt the interview went really well, but a few days later I got the new I was dreading. I didn't get in. This made me question what I wanted to do and I didn't understand why it wasn't working for me.
Going on from this I decided to be positive and join an agency so that I could get experience in a variety of schools so that I could prepare myself to apply again.
Working in all the different school was a real experience and I found myself not getting the feeling I did in the previous school I worked in. I felt undervalued in all the schools and I found myself not wanting to the job. The teachers all seemed to complain that it's too much work and said that wouldn't advise others to do the same career. It made me see it in a whole new light.
I suddenly realised teaching wasn't for me and that it was fate I didn't get on to the PGCE.
This made me look at my life in terms of work and what I wanted to be doing for a career.
I decided I wanted to do something that let me use my creativity and that used some of the experience and skills I gained through my photography.
I also love social media and marketing and I quick around a computer.
Thinking about this and writing down my skills and interests made me see it all more clearly.
I now feel more positive and I am focused on pursuing the career I want.
Now I know what I want to do it makes it all so much easier, but I find myself at a bit of crossroads.
I need to be in a job, but do I sacrifice my happiness. If I continue doing something that isn't relevant to the career I want then it harms my chances.
I have a lot of thinking to do and decisions to make, but I know it will all work out.
All this has prompted me to think about 2015 and what I want to achieve with my year. You'll have to keep an eye out as I am going to share this and then I will update it through the year to see how I getting on.