Monday Musings

21:02

There comes a time in life when I think everyone questions their life. Even if only for a short time. Whether it's a career, family, relationships, achievements or life in general. 
I think it's almost a right of passage. Like when you're a teenager and you're so incredibly grumpy and generally a horrid person. For me it always comes back to the same thing. Career and what I want  to do.

I went to university in the hopes of a career in photography however, this was not for me. I stuck with the degree as I hate to give up and there were a few bits I enjoyed. For me it helped me to grow more as a person and gave me more confidence in myself and my ability to do something. 
I've always been a creative person and enjoyed the ability to express myself. So I've always known that was the route I'd take. It's just deciding where to go with it.

When I left my degree I decided to volunteer at a school which soon turned into a job. I said yes as I couldn't turn down a paid job. I did enjoy the job and I got immense satisfaction from helping others and seeing the kids faces when they got something right. I thought I'd finally found what I was supposed to be doing. I knew my passion was in creative subjects and decided to volunteer in the Art Department in a secondary school. I worked in a variety of classes and I even taught my own photography lesson. I felt so excited and passionate. This was something I wanted to pursue so I applied to do a PGCE in Art and Design. I got an interview . Unfortunately I didn't get in. They said they could see my passion but I needed to focus on my creative practice across different mediums. I felt so let down and lost when I got this news that I couldn't stop crying. I let myself have that day to feel down then I picked myself back up. 

Not one to give up I joined an agency to get as much experience in a variety of schools. This was both a good and bad choice. Not having guaranteed work has forced me to go with the flow and to except that not everything is certain and that it's okay.
Although I feel I've come away learning this, I've also learnt that I do not want a career in teaching. Without going into it all having seen a mixture of schools most of which I never got the joy that I did from the first school I worked in. I also got a glimpse of teaching and it's not in my nature to be in charge. Also hearing teachers constantly pointing out all the bad things made me have a change in heart.

Bring me back to square one again. I only didn't feel as down or scared which is a big deal considering it would've sent me into a panic last year.
I have taken the time to sit down and really think about the skills I have and what I'm passionate about .
Leading me to think about my blog. No I'm not going to become a full time blogger but there are elements I use for blogging that I not only have skills in but I have a passion and excitement for. I think sometimes it takes having a rough time to get you thinking and put you in the right direction. It's not always going to be plain sailing and it shouldn't be. The struggle and the fight we put up are what makes us stronger. Makes us pursue our dreams and keep on going. I now feel more confident and ready to forge a career that I have done in the past. I know I'm more than capable and ready to get my dream job. Ao now to begin the hunt and follow my dreams.


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