Letter to my younger self....

09:00

Life isn't easy, that's just a given. Stop chasing after being an adult, it'll come and when it does there's kind of no going back. Enjoy you young and carefree days because that won't last forever. 
I know at times growing up seems like the answer to everything, but it's not. Yes, you're going to have people disappoint you and let you down but that won't change when you're older. 

It's going to seem harder because when you're younger you haven't learnt how to deal with it. You haven't haven't worked out who to trust. You will suffer heartbreak, but those are boys and they don't matter. You will meet a man that will stop you in your tracks and that will change everything. You know what he is awesome and worth the wait. So let yourself be heartbroken with those boys, cry then get on with everything else. Let's face it they lost out and weren't worthy of you. You were too good for them.
Just be you, not everyone is going to like you but you need to be happy. Those people you call friends sadly you know they're not true friends and there will come a time when you realise this. It's alright. It may seem like the end of the world because your back to square one. Well in terms of friends, but you know what it makes you realise your own worth and what your deserve. It's not about expectations, but it is about knowing what a good friend is. People are going to come and go in life and that's okay people do that. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. The ones that stick and stay they are the good ones. 

Now I know you're going to laugh and not want to hear this, but it's very important. You know you have a bond with your family that makes you very close. You will hate this and think they are the worst especially your parents and grandparents, but they're looking out for you and ultimately they love you. They are your guardians, warriors if you will. They don't want to see you get hurt, they want the best for you and sadly they will be right about a lot of things. Prepare to be wrong, don't hate them for it. They are older and have had the experience you have yet to come. 
Yes, they need to let you live your life and make your own mistakes but they are just trying to help. They fear things from their youth and they don't want it for you. They will at times make you feel like rubbish, but you have to know they really do mean well. At the end of the day, they are your biggest supporters. They don't always show it but they want you to succeed. Even when they don't understand what you're doing. That being said they aren't going to agree with everything you do and you can't let that worry you. You have a habit of trying to make them happy but think. Does that make you happy? It is okay to put yourself first. If you don't then, well, things will be difficult. 

Education is important and although you love learning, tests won't be easy. You don't really work that way. You're going to drift off the path here. You are emotional and sensitive and sometimes this affects you and it will here. You will let things bother you and distract you. This, in turn, makes you think more about partying and having fun and yes, drinking is included. However, I urge you to find a balance. You're going to feel defeated when you realise your grades aren't what you wanted, but pick yourself up. We are not a quitter. 
Your grades aren't going to be top, unfortunately, but your determination and drive will win through in the end and you'll reach a better place. Going back to finding balance, that's going to be important in every aspect of life so work on it.

Lastly, the dreams and ambitions you have they will happen, but maybe not on the timescale you had hoped for. Yes, New York will come and we're planning it but sadly you won't have gone by 18. 
Don't give up on your dreams, remember that good things always take time. Not everyone has dreams so even more reason to keep them safe. 

Your going to make mistakes and there will be things that you never thought would happen to you in every sense. Just know they don't define you, it's how you choose to react and your actions that will. There will be something things that you never thought you'd want to, but you are going to want them.  It's not going to be easy, but hopefully, it will happen. Remember though never say never, because you never know.
Oh and we so get a tattoo that was a long time coming. Just be brave, be fearless and know you can do anything. The rest is up to you.



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